It's clear to me that Canadians really don't know who to vote for because they don't like any of the choices. I would like to walk into that voting booth and check the box that says: "You're all a bunch of pinheads. F*ck all of you."
The thing is that Canadians have lost faith is all the political parties. Right now, they don't want to hear fancy plans and speeches. I know what Canadians want from their government. They want the same thing your landlord wants. They want quiet well-behaved tenants that aren't going to mess up the carpeting or appliances during their 4-year lease.
Honestly, Canadians aren't expecting the new government to pull a rabbit out of it's ass. We just want you guys to keep those parliament seats warm for a bit. Here are some easy pointers for you guys:
Eight Simple Rules for Running my Country
- Just sit there and stay out of trouble.
- Vote "NAY" on crazy outlandish things.
- Vote "YEA" for the things that are reasonable.
- If you're not sure which is which, go grab a coffee and a bagel under the vote's over.
- If you're bored, stand up and start a dramatic monologue or childish name-calling.
- Don't be a hog. Those other MP's want a turn at monologues and name-calling too.
- Divert your funds discreetly. We know you're going to reach into the cookie jar. We just get really angry when we actually catch you doing it, so make sure it's not obvious.
- Don't f*ck up the country while in power.
1 comment:
The PC party is screwed.
I don't understand why they think rushing an election into the holiday season is a good idea. When people are distracted by shopping, they will be more likely to vote for the safest choice, which is pretty much the Liberals.
And if Stephen Harper thinks that rushing the vote will allow him to bask in the afterglow of the Gomery inquiry, then he overestimates Canadians. He overestimates our ability to remember what we ate last night, much less the Liberal sponsorship scandal.
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