As election results are still coming in, this blog is projecting a Green Party majority government. Based on my expert statistical skillz, it looks like Elizabeth May and members of the Green Party are poised to rule Canada with an iron fist... (or at least a fist made of a corn-based biodegradable polymer.)"Bow down to your new environmental overlords, bitches!" screamed an elated Green Party supporter, wearing bulky jewelery made from recycled aluminum. "Lizzie May is in da house! She's gonna kick it old school..."
Elizabeth May could not be reached for comment. She remained at party headquarters furiously organizing a car pool for all the elected Green Party MP's to commute to Parliament.
News of the Green Party win sent shock waves throughout the political landscape, leaving many experts and statisticians baffled. Voters across Canada were also puzzled.
"I was voting for the Reform Party! They're the green one, right?" asked one voter from Alberta.
"Green Party? I thought I was voting for the Breen Party! It's so hard to read the ballot with this stupid helmet on..." explained an enthusiastic Star Trek fan from Ontario.
"Soylent Green is made out of PEOPLE!!!" shouted a crazed Green Party supporter from British Columbia. "Don't you understand? It's made out of PEOPLE!!!"
Wait a minute... I just double-checked my elite statistical skillz, and my projection was completely off. It turns out that the Green Party didn't win... In fact, our government is almost exactly the same as it was before the election. That was rather anti-climatic, wasn't it?
"I thought I was voting for the Breen Party..."
1 comment:
I thought I heard "$270 million" stated on CBC Radio as the overall cost of the federal election. That's a lot of money and effort for pretty much the same situation. Thanks alot, Stephen Harper.
If Stephen Harper is tempted by favourable polls to call another election in two years, I'll be running for the Work Less Party.
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