Okay, Lotto Max. We have to have a talk. Now I know you're the new lottery on the block and all. Quite frankly, I still miss the Super 7... but that's beside the point. The point is that you're a $5 a ticket lottery! That's really pricey for the unwashed mathematically-challenged masses. Now to justify this, you've given us crazy jackpots. I mean... really crazy jackpots. But it's happening too often and we are suffering from "jackpot fatigue".Lotto Max: "Friday's jackpot is $50 million dollars!"
I know... it was $50 million dollars last week! But nobody won it because it's statistically crazy to win. Hey... that's not fair. I know lotteries aren't supposed to be statistically easy to win... but come on man! It's a little unreasonable.
Lotto Max: "This week, play Max Millions! 26 additional draws of $1 million dollars!"
I know! I know! Look, stop talking about the jackpots. I think we have a problem here with over exposure. We're sort of getting sort of numb to the whole thing. All your talk about buckets of money is falling on deaf ears. People can't spend $5 every week to feed your manic fixation on false hopes and dreams.
Lotto Max: "Bah bah bum... da da da... Bah bah bum... da da da..."
Ahh! Stop it... I can't get that infernal jingle out of my head! I hear that stupid jingle every week now! I'm sorry Lotto Max, but I'm not buying your tickets any more. I'm good enough at math to know better. Sorry Lotto Max, but this is goodbye.
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