Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Dear George Lucas: Release my friend.

[An open letter to George Lucas.]

Dear George Lucas,

This letter is of the upmost importance. So much so, that I have delayed the public George Lucas nut-stomping that was to have been performed before the release of Star Wars: Episode III.

Mr. Lucas, one of my friends has become hopelessly ensnared in the fishing net you call "Star Wars: Galaxies". If you are not familiar with this evil arm of your commercial empire, it is a MMORPG based in the Star Wars universe. My friend is convinced that he is a Rebel fighter with proficiencies in starfighter mechanics and genetic engineering. He has refused all our attempts to lure him out of his room for social contact or food. He occasionally pauses his game to use the toilet or sleep... but these pauses are becoming more and more infrequent.

As this friend is the drummer for our dragonboat team, we would appreciate his safe return to the real-world. In return, I promise that I will not pursue my back-up plan to travel back in time to 1983 and "forcibly retire" you from the movie making business after the release of Return of the Jedi. Please keep in mind that I am under tremendous pressure from the Star Wars fan base to continue with Plan B, but I am willing to negotiate.

Flocons De Mais

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