The Mean Green Machine.

Dear bike thieves,

I hate bike thieves. I really really hate you! Over the past few years I have been victimized by having a whole bike stolen, parts of my bike stolen, and failed attempts at getting my bike stolen. They say that New York is a bad place to lock your bike, but I think Toronto has more bike thefts because more people have bikes here.

What I'm getting to is this... I bought a new bike this month. It's a sweet ride, as almost as cool as Pedro's bike from Napoleon Dynamite. This is a pretty expensive bike and I am going through the painful process of making my bike look like a crappy bike so it doesn't get stolen. The first step was to spray paint the entire frame spinach green. Yes, that shiny blue and silver coating is now spinach green. I will soon cover it with dorky ugly stickers and a coat of mud. This whole process has been regarded with outright horror from my friends, but I'm telling you that it's either this or I come back to a broken lock and no bike.

PS: I hate bike thieves.