Puerto Rico joins Axis of Evil

[Washington, D.C.]

Officials have added Puerto Rico to the countries it calls "the Axis of Evil." Puerto Ricans were shocked by this statement and have denied any wrong-doing. The White House released the following statement to the press:

"Intelligence reports have shown that Puerto Rico continues to maintain close political ties to an unknown nation with a large nuclear weapons stockpile. It is more than likely that underneath the expansive beaches of the region lay several nuclear weapons stockpiles. Puerto Rico continues to lie to the world about this. We have not ruled out a military option."

Diplomatic progress has been slow as the U.N. representative for Puerto Rico could not be located.