Diamond Shreddies: An Affront to Nature!

Xiao-Pangzi supports Diamond Shreddies. I must disagree with her, as Diamond Shreddies are an affront to nature! Since the beginning of history, Shreddies were wholesome because of their intrinsically square shape. With their four corners and 90-degree angles, Square Shreddies became the embodiment of traditional values. It was a cereal you could take home for a dinner with your parents. All that changed when Diamond Shreddies came into the scene.

Diamond Shreddies are Shreddies in name only. As their name implies, their radical diamond-shape is completely lacking in wholesome square-shaped values. Diamond Shreddies are considered to be edgy and wild by some social circles. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, Diamond Shreddies are created through an entirely different (and unwholesome) manufacturing process which gives them their distinctive shape.

This leads to the question: Where are these Diamond Shreddies coming from? Could these Shreddies be made in parts of the world with questionable work practices? Are these Diamond Shreddies actually Blood Diamond Shreddies? There are reports in the United Kingdom that Diamond Shreddies are knitted together by British Nanas (www.knittedbynanas.com) and smuggled into North American inside knitted scarves and cardigan sweaters.

In the end, it doesn't matter where Diamond Shreddies come from or how they are made. All I know is that I want them abolished. I yearn for the good old days when I could open a box of Shreddies and find it full of Square Shreddies. Deliciously wholesome Square Shreddies! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.