Good evening America,This is an extraordinary period for your economy. You're in the midst of a serious financial crisis, and your government needs to respond with decisive action.
As the blogger for "Who pissed in your Corn Flakes", I believe that we need Congress to quickly approve giving ME 700 billion dollars. Under normal circumstances, this request would be considered downright crazy... but these are not normal circumstances. With 700 billion dollars, I would buy luxury electronics and exotic sports cars, treat my friends to ridiculously expensive dinners, and probably spend the rest of it on liquor and blow. As a married man, I would not be able to spend money on hookers, but I would finance hookers for my closest single friends... The important thing is that I would be spending this money in the United States, stimulating the economy and providing revenue and jobs for the American people through the magic of trickle down economics.Your economy is facing a moment of great challenge, but you've overcome tough challenges before, and you will overcome this one... by giving ME 700 billion dollars. History has shown that, in times of real trial, elected officials will hand out billions of dollars carelessly, and now is such a time. Together we will show the world once again what kind of country America is: a nation that is not afraid to throw hard-earned cash at ME, so that I can live out my dream of spending 700 billion dollars with reckless abandon.
Thank you for listening. May God bless you.
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