Thursday, January 15, 2009

This blog has been brought to you by Pocari Sweat

In a surprise news conference, 50 Cent and Pocari Sweat announced a joint venture to produce and market a new ion replacement drink called "Fitty Sweat". This appears to be a strategic move in reaction to the recent collaboration between P. Diddy and Vitasoy.

50 Cent: "They say that success is 99% perspiration. Well, if you drink a can of Fitty Sweat, you will literally be drinking 99% of my perspiration. If that's not success, I don't know what is."

The Fitty Sweat production process involves placing the legendary rap artist in a high temperature sauna. During this time, 50 Cent must stand in a large plastic tub constantly hydrating himself with Pocari Sweat. Through the magic of human perspiration, Fitty Sweat is produced, collected, and canned.

The first production run of Fitty Sweat contained 99% of 50 Cent's sweat. This composition ratio was found to be too demanding, as 50 Cent fainted several times at the biological pressures of generating such a large volume of sweat in such a short amount of time. As a result, subsequent batches of Fitty Sweat only contain 4% of 50 Cent's sweat. This makes the first production run of Fitty Sweat somewhat of a collector's item among Fitty Sweat enthusiasts.

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