What is David Suzuki doing in my basement?

SUZUKI: Hi! I'm David Suzu...

ME: AHHH! (Punches David Suzuki in the face.)

SUZUKI: Ow! Calm down, sir. I'm here to change your old light bulbs ...

ME: David Suzuki! What the hell are you doing in my basement? Are you a crackhead or something? Jesus! You're bleeding. Let me get a tissue for you.

SUZUKI: No no. Facial tissues are crowding our landfills. Reusable rags are much better for the environment. (Suzuki takes out a rag and pinches his nose.)

ME: Dude, you can't just go breaking into people's basement. If you're so keen on this light bulb thing, why the hell didn't you just knock on the front door and ask me?

SUZUKI: Compact fluorescent light bulbs use less energy and are better for the environment.

ME: I don't give a rat's ass about the light bulbs, man. You should knock before you go wandering into strangers houses! You could get shot doing that. How would you feel if I broke into your house and replaced your solar panels with electric floor heaters?

SUZUKI: That would make me very sad.

ME: I'm glad you see my point of view. Hey, you aren't that bad Suzuki. Do you want to go out for a beer or something?

SUZUKI: Is it environmentally-friendly beer?

ME: We can go to Peel Pub. They recycle their beer.

SUZUKI: Mmmm.... recycled beer.