Breaking News: Giant spiders attack nation's capital!

Already coping with several heavy snowstorms this winter, the citizens of Ottawa woke up this morning to yet another crisis. It appears that the nation's capital has been invaded by giant spiders. Scientists believe that the cold and heavy snowfall this year has disturbed the natural habitat of these gentle （yet voraciously hungry) creatures, and they have begun entering urban areas in search of food (your friends and loved ones).

Animal control officers were promptly dispatched to capture and release the giant spiders into the wild... but the officers were sprayed with some sort of paralyzing acid and promptly eaten. Those that were not eaten, became entangled in a sticky web and spindled into a bundle for later consumption.

Citizens have been advised to stay indoors to avoid contact with the giant spiders. Citizens are also reminded that it is their responsibility to clear all sidewalks and driveways of snow, or face serious fines.