What can 700 billion dollars buy?

Dear America,

As you are still in the process of finalizing your 700 billion bailout deal, I would like the President and members of Congress to seriously consider the alternative plan of giving ME 700 billion dollars to spend in your country to boost your economy and bring stability to your financial markets. I've been doing some research, and this amount of money would enable me to buy a lot to help stimulate the economy! I've include a brief summary below:

Caviar omelet:
Le Parker Meridien restaurant in New York offers a $1,000 omelet with 10 ounces of sevruga caviar, a whole lobster, and six eggs.
With $700B, I could buy 700 million omelets... enough to give 2 omelets to everyone in America!

Louis XIII’s “Black Pearl” Cognac:
Black Pearl is blended from 1200 different eau-de-vie ranging in age from 40 to 100 years. Sells for $10,000 per bottle.
With $700B, I could buy 70 million bottles... enough for 1 in 4 Americans! They would subsequently share with 3 of their friends!

Luxury call girl:
Natalie McLennan, who trained the call girl involved in the Eliot Spitzer scandal claimed to be a "$2000 an hour" woman.
With $700B, I could buy 100 years worth of continuous call girl services for 400 lucky Americans and 10 of my single friends.

Porche 911 GT3:
415 horsepower and 0-60 in 4 seconds. This car costs $124,900.
With $700B, I could buy 5,604,483 Porches to be given out randomly to Americans.

iDiamond:
This iPod shuffle is made from gold and platinum. It's covered with diamonds, and costs $40,500. It's one of a kind, but I'm sure that the maker could be persuaded to make more.
With $700B, I could buy 17,283,950 iDiamonds to selected American undergraduate students.

Frrrozen Haute Chocolate:
From Serendipity 3 Restaurant in New York City, this frozen hot chocolate has gold flakes and 28 types of cocoa. It only costs a measly $25,000.
With $700B, I could buy 28 million desserts for America's poor...


B2 Spirit:
Of all the items on this list, this is probably something that the government is already throwing lots of money into. This long-range multi-role bomber can carry a payload of 17.85 tons and can deliver both conventional and nuclear munitions. This plane costs $1,300,000,000
With $700B, I could buy 538 aircraft, so that each state would have at least 10 of them.

Royal DeMaria 2000 Chardonnay:
This is the most expensive ice wine in the world. It costs $30,000 per 345mL bottle.
With $700B, I could buy 23,333,333 bottles... except there are only 60 in existence... and the money would all go to Canada.


The Illinois corn flake:
It's a corn flake in the shape of the state of Illinois! It was sold in an auction for $1350 to TriviaMania.com.
With $700B, I would blow it all to own this one of a kind corn flake. TriviaMania.com, I'll be in touch with you as soon as my bailout plan clears Congress.